Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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