i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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