dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
