Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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