i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
