I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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