I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
