It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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