once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
