3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
