There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
