I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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