So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize