Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
