They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
