does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
