Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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