Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
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