his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize