remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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