i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
