Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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