She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
