make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
