Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
When did we convert life to cartoon?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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