i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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