Grow some girl-balls and come out already
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize