i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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