so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize