covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
