My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
