my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize