If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
