i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
