ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
