question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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