Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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