I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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