Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Damn victory sex feels great
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
