i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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