Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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