Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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