Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
