She is in my trunk
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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