Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
