here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I currently don't understand fingers.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
