2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
