Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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