Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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