if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
