i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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