my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
