How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
