We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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