Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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