I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
