Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
The feeling are messing with the penis
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize