My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
