I can tuck mytits in my pants
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Just pee around me
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
