this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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