I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
