hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize