Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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