Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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