Me. At least after what I've been through.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I am mentally ready for anal.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
