I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
